Dear Friends,

As usual, it's been quite a long time -- and as usual, sorry about that. This term has been particularly eventful; every time I sit down to do a letter like this, I'm pushed into inaction by the seemingly overwhelming task before me. I can't possibly tell all the interesting stuff that's gone on, so I'll do my level best to hit the "highlights" (such as they are)... that way we can get a little caught up, at least.

I'm going to start with the most unfortunate of all the news. I was on vacation At the end of September/beginning of October and was visiting other volunteers. By Friday, I'd ended up in Iringa, a small but sizable city in the central highlands. There was a party at a volunteer's house in celebration of our one-year anniversary here in Tanzania (October 1st). There were a dozen PCVs, and about as many Tanzanian teachers from the two Iringa PC schools. The party died down at about 1:30-2:00 AM; seven volunteers remained to stay at Sarah's house and went to sleep.

Around 4:00 AM, four Tanzanian men broke into the house, through a locked outer door, and then a second door to the bedroom area of the house. They each had weapons: A pistol, a rifle, a large stick sharpened at both ends, and a large metal bar. They came into each of the three rooms in which people were sleeping, shouting the English phrases they had memorized for the occasion: "I'm going to kill you!" and "Give me money!"

Everyone cooperated, though people in some rooms were more directly threatened than others. I had been sleeping quite heavily, and it took me a little while to fully consciously realize that I had a gun pointing at my head and that it wasn't a dream. One volunteer was told to get on her knees. Another was brought around to other rooms with her hands behind her back to show they meant business. However, nobody was actually hurt in any way, and for this we were all very thankful. All in all they got away with a large sum of cash, and an even larger value of valuables, including cameras (like mine), stereos, walkmans, and other valuables.

The particularly nerve-shattering things about this situation was that it was not like a pickpocketing or purse-snatching, where we'd set ourselves up by putting ourselves in a dangerous situation. In this case, we had done all we thought was within reason to secure ourselves in a Volunteer's home on a school campus, just like the one in which I live. Additionally, there were enough valuables in the main room of the house (where the thieves entered after breaking through the first door) so that they could have gotten away with a sizeable worth of plunder. Instead, they chose the confrontation, and broke through a second locked door in order to have it. I was not, and still am not, prepared to fully realize that people can have such malice.

We went to the police, who were surprisingly cooperative. Many of us went from there on Sunday to Dar es Salaam, where we met with our Country Directors, the Regional Security Officer from the US Embassy, the Chief of Police for all of Tanzania, and other officials. We were told that Washington D.C. was getting involved. We were also given optional counselling sessions with a PC-designated counselor. The Country Directors even put us up at their house so we wouldn't have to stay in the city.

The reason this crime was taken very seriously by everyone was that it is not at all common -- though it may be becoming more so. Of course, pickpocketing and purse-snatching in bad areas are very common. Less common, but still significant are the number of break-ins when people are away from their house for a long time. But an armed break-in by people who knew there were people in the house (possibly many) and threatening of lives is not an everyday crime.

I finished up my sessions and paperwork on Wednesday (6th) and came home on Thursday. I got to my house and there was a new lock on the door, and a note saying the headmaster had the key. I went down to his house where Mark (my housemate) was having dinner with his parents, who'd come to visit during our vacation. To add injury to injury, Mark then informed me that our house had been broken into while we had both been away and my new and expensive stereo stolen (the one I had bought to console myself for having had my bag stolen in February). My Peace Corps bicycle had also been stolen.

As you can imagine, all this did not sit very well with me. I felt as I was leaving Dar that I was just starting to get myself together, and then I come back here to find that my own home isn't safe, in a much more rural, crime-free area than Iringa. This problem in my own home made me realize I was far less ready to deal with the Iringa robbery than I'd thought.

The thing with which I have and have always had the most problem is how strongly white skin is associated not only with wealth, but with handouts; our whole purpose here is apparently just to give money to people. When I walk down the road in Monduli, I can't go a day without hearing some well-trained kid say, "Give me money," in English, even though they're still saying "Good Morning" at 5 PM. The adults just think it's cute... but those kids grow up, never having been told that it's wrong, and racist for that matter, to ask someone for money just because they're white. Evidently for a few, if they feel like they're not getting enough, they just take it.

All this being said, a month later I'm feeling better and more comfortable. I've been able to inundate myself in more enjoyable distractions (which I'll describe in a bit) and to take security measures for my own house. Fortunately, as I expected, my headmaster and the rest of the school staff were very supportive. My headmaster has taken a serious initiative in making sure the security for my house is improved; before I leave on my December vacation we plan to install bars on all the windows and a metal grill on the front door with room for multiple locks.

I've also been heartened by the support given me by Peace Corps. As I mentioned before, the main office went out of their way to take care of us, and to make sure we had a safe space in which to be comfortable after such a violation of our safety and feeling of well-being.

Well, after all of this, you may wonder whether or not I've thought about leaving. In fact, one of the seven of us that were robbed has already left the country, terminating her service over a year early. She, on the other hand, had already been mugged twice, subjected to regular harassment, and felt as though she was getting no support from either her Headmistress or her students.

I'd certainly be lying if I said I hadn't considered it. I thought about it for a few seconds in Iringa, then shook it off. I thought about it a little more seriously after finding my own home violated and turning into a nervous wreck for a few hours. However, I never really seriously considered it in such a way as to say, "That's it! No more! I'm definitely heading home!"

Why? Because when I told the staff at the school, they were so empathetic, and they were all quite shocked about the whole business. They didn't just say, "Oh, too bad." and go on drinking their tea. My students were much the same. If nothing else, they realized that the cultural paradigm of whites being big handouts walking down the street is more dangerous than they'd thought... dangerous to their friends.

After all, though I'm certainly different, the staff at my school accept me as both an equal coworker and as a friend. I've been to weddings, confirmation parties, and other celebrations... I'm part of the family, in a way. There were two volunteers who were here 3 or 4 years ago who are now getting married to each other; the school was so excited to get the letter to see how their friends were doing, and to see that two people who they cared about and who helped them so much announce such happy news.

I could never leave this kind of community earlier than I had to. I haven't finished the real work I came for, making real and lasting friendships that mature with my time here. Leaving early? I could never do that to my school; I could never do that to myself.

One last thing about this crime -- one of you all who had been here over thirty years ago said it seemed to be getting much more dangerous here in Africa, with all this rising crime and whatnot. I'd be inclined to disagree. It is true that petty crime is now rampant, and felonious crime seems to be rearing its head. On the other hand, the biggest dangers to volunteers are still things like riding the rusted-out buses everywhere, getting diseases, and other non-crime-related accidents.

The difference is, nowadays, the infrastructure is much better than it was years ago. Chances are, if I got sick or hurt in one of these more common ways, I am much more likely to have that information communicated to my head office, more likely to be transported quickly to a hospital, and more likely to receive professional, sanitary medical care than I would have been decades ago. All that put together, and I'd say I'm actually much safer than my predecessors in terms of the things which are most likely to harm to me.

Fortunately, last month brought more than this low point. The new training class arrived on September 23rd, and I had the privilege of being in Arusha to welcome them, and help out on some of their first sessions in adjusting to life in Tanzania.

It was a really wonderful thing for me in many ways. As most of you know, I'm a bit on the extraverted side, and making 54 new friends was quite a thrill. Finding common interests and backgrounds, not to mention our simply having joined Peace Corps in common. It was also a good opportunity to step back and assess my "progress" over the past year; how far I've come in Swahili, in cultural assimilation, in adjustment to the environment and how to get around. I got to see that all the effort I've put into all those things has paid off handsomely.

I also saw a group of people with high ideals and fresh hopes -- some things to which I have become jaded over the past year. By witnessing some of the early parts of their training, I was exposed to some reminders of my purpose here, and how I'm a part of this great organization doing great things. It was good for me to see some of the shortcomings in my performance, and how I had given up or become callused to my idealism... I realized that I needed to discover that idealism again before I could really grab the success I wanted. Seeing people with their whole service in front of them took me back to last year when I was in the same boat. It's not what I expected, for sure -- but maybe with a little more hard work and a little less apathy, I could make it different.

One of the ways in which I "consoled" myself for the Iringa robbery was to give myself a little more American-time with the trainees. Almost every weekend in October, I've spent a night out getting American-style dinners, hanging out at bars, and doing other stuff with them. It's true, not a conversation has gone by without me sharing some sage wisdom, or just some simple factual information from the field (I guess it's all from the Field, har har)... but in the end I was less there to help them out and more there to give myself a break from a lot of my frustrations. Looking back, I think I should have probably given myself a little more down time at my own site, and nursed my "wounds" with my Tanzanian colleagues. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess.

However, I have done some pretty fun things. Some trainees have come out to visit me in Monduli, as well as current volunteers who have come to help out with training. Barring the July 4th party, I've had more visitors in the past month than I'd had previously in my entire tenure here. It was nice to have people see where I live, and to cook for them some fine food.

I also ended up spontaneously going on a safari to the Ngorongoro Crater Conservation Area (only a day's trip from Arusha). The trainees had organized it and gotten a great price, and somebody got sick at the last minute and I took her slot. The Crater was simply amazing, we spent about 6-7 hours in there and only saw a tiny fraction of the area. Roaming free, and often very close to our car, we saw gazelle, giraffes, ostriches, lions, babboons, elephants, wildebeest, water buffalo, bathing hippos, waterbucks, flamingoes, and the elusive black rhino. I more than a little sad not to have a camera (it having been stolen two weeks before in Iringa) but had a great time nonetheless.

The classic moment, though, had to be when we were on our way out at the end of the day. Our car's radiator got a tiny leak, but it was overheated enough to send a little stream of water forward about a couple meters from the car. We had extra water, but plugging the hole was a problem. Then I saw an automotive repair technique that would have made the Car Talk guys flip their lids: They took off the radiator cap, and broke a RAW EGG into the radiator. The egg somehow cooked itself into the hole, and plugged the leak. We drove home that way for 4 hours. Amazing.

So anyway, as you can see, the past month and a half has been quite the emotional roller-coaster. Even after all of it, I'm still glad I'm here. I like my pretty little town, my school, my students, my job. And despite the occasional craving for nacho chips smothered in grated cheese, I feel like there's no place I'd rather be right now.

I am, however, looking forward to my vacation when I'll have a chance both to relax a little bit without having to do lesson plans and get no sleep, not to mention a little time for planning more productive things for next term -- I have the feeling it's going to be a busy one!

Thanks for all your support; I look forward to hearing how all of you are doing these days!

Tunashukuru kwa kuendelea na urafiki,
(We are thankful for continuing on in friendship,) ,
Ethan

P.S. Next Letter: What am I doing for Y2K???

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