Dear Family and Friends,

Well, as usual, it's been quite a while, and we've a great deal of catching up to do! This was unquestionably the longest 'Letter from Tanzania' ever, and so I've broken it up into four easier-to-swallow chunks. Part (a) is what I personally have been up to since April; Part (b) is about a computer project I've been doing here at school; Part (c) is about some of the more difficult issues of life and death and how people deal with it here (including me); and Part (d) answers some general questions that people have asked me about life in Tanzania.

The last thing I wrote to you all was about the Girls' Conference we held here in Monduli in early April. For me, that was followed by a period of lethargy on my part rivalled only by that of the three-toed sloth. Our mid-term break was the week that immediately followed the conference, and contrary to my usual practice, I didn't travel anywhere. I knew I would be tired after the conference, and I thought I might be able to get some catch-up sort of work done around school and around my house. Instead, I got more of the sleep-until-10AM sort of work done around my bed.

A few weeks later, on my birthday, I traveled to visit a nearby volunteer who was also born on April 26 (though three years later). Spookily enough, her mother's name is the same as my mother's (Judy), and her father's name is the nearly the same as my grandfather's (Bart). She was having a party for her Form 6 students; figuring the fact that our birthday is a public holiday in Tanzania (Tanganyika-Zanzibar Union Day) would give her enough time to cook all day. It was a fun get-together; we had cake and sodas and all kinds of good food.

I went from there up to Lushoto, a very lovely, cool, rainy place in the Usambara mountains, in the northern coastal region of Tanga. I did a whistle-stop tour of volunteers' houses in the area, spending one night apiece at each of four PCVs' abodes.

During my trip, I had quite a few things on my mind that I was discussing with other PCVs, most of them things that had just been weighing on me heavily. I was hoping to make a fresh start when I got back to my school. On my way down from Lushoto, I bought two big bags of apples through the bus window (they grow them in that area and sell them dirt cheap).

I arrived back at my school on the afternoon of May 1st, (International Labour Day in every country except the USA). The school staff was in the middle of having a big meal, courtesy of the school administration, to thank them for all their hard work. I got there just in time to present everyone with a big bag of apples, with which they all cleansed their palates after the heavy Tz-style meal. It went over really well and it felt great to be back among my peers in Monduli after being away for a week.

This homecoming with the staff was a high point in a relatively difficult period for me. Around that time -- in fact, beginning around the end of the girls' conference -- I started to feel pretty low. I was spending a lot of time by myself not doing much, feeling physically and emotionally depressed. I don't know why; a combination of factors... but the result was that I was pretty down on myself. I was in one of those self-critical spirals in which I get depressed because "I'm not being as good a PCV as I feel I should," and then because I'm depressed, I don't have the energy to do anything, which in turn makes me more self-critical...

In early May, I attended a three-day Peace Corps Gender & Development workshop in Arusha involving Peace Corps volunteers and staff from Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Malawi, and Madagascar (that's the East Africa sub-region). It was really productive for me and I came out feeling really energized. Part of it was getting excited about girls' education again, and feeling like I had good, new ideas for the coming term.

More importantly, though, I made some new friends, especially among the four Kenyan PCVs who attended. We just sort of 'clicked'; the whole time we were constantly hanging out, enjoying each other's company a lot. It was nice to have the validation that even though I went into that week not liking myself very much, there were a bunch of other people who did like me... which made it easier for me to get back into a more positive frame of mind. The downward spiral reversed itself into an upward spiral almost instantly. Not only did I feel good the few days after the workshop, but for the rest of the month and onwards.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that I like to know that people, especially those whose thoughts and opinions I respect highly, like me and appreciate me. I think I had been trying to convince myself for a while that I didn't need to hear those kind of things... but the way I felt after the conference (really positive) I realize that I can't deny the importance of that kind of support. That's not too much of a problem, but it means I'll have to be a little more proactive about having quality time with good folks (Americans or Tanzanians).

At the end of May, I had just gotten a few computers working (more in part b), called it a term, and took off for a traditional Ethan-style travelling vacation... and for once, I felt like I really deserved it ...even though I had to work during some of that time.

First I went to Dodoma. A guy from my training class who had finished his two years last December was back to visit his girlfriend who had also extended. I got there and found out that they were engaged. It got the vacation off to a good start -- two good folks makin' good plans together.

The little town they were staying in is called "Kigwe". Mardi (the PCV who's still there) has been trying, with her site mate, to promote volunteers to come visit by advertising "Kigwe Safaris". They even have their own "Big Five" things to see in Kigwe: "The Three-Toothed Woman", "Crazy Battery Man", "Sheet-Wearing Man", "Torn Clothes Man", and "The Duka that Smells Like a Bowling Alley"! In just 24 hours, I saw four of the big five. Sadly, the three-toothed woman eluded me for the remainder of my stay.

I went from there to Morogoro, to the In-Service Training (IST) for the first-year Education folks. Faithful readers may recall that I did the same thing last year, but this year, somehow, I just wasn't as into it. In my first year and a half or so, I wasn't feeling as confident about my ability to do great things at my own site, so I focused on helping other volunteers to be better PCVs. I think now that I'm finally feeling productive at my own site, I'm feeling less of a need to redeem myself by encouraging the newer folks.

Together with the volunteer leader and other staff, we did a two-day focus workshop on Girls' Education for the interested PCVs and their counterparts. (They have a choice of HIV/AIDS, Environmental Ed, or Girls' Ed). Regardless of my level of enthusiasm, I think it went pretty well; everyone left talking about what they were planning to do at their sites, which is the important thing, eh?

From there to a week of lethargic self-indulgence in Dar es Salaam. Well, not entirely... I took three work days that week; one for writing up stuff from the IST, and two for researching a secondary project I'm pursuing. Of course, since I was staying out late with my friends almost every night that week, those 'three work days' were spread out over the five days of that week -- specifically the afternoons of said days.

After that, I went down to the Southern highlands of Iringa region, where I had not been since October of '99, when (again, as faithful readers may recall) I was robbed at gunpoint in a PCV's house there. Fortunately, this particular excursion was less eventful... However, I did get to witness an almost total solar eclipse there (my map said it would be about 80%, but it looked like more than that!)

I journeyed down there with my friend Brandon, who used to be one of my closest neighbors but when he extended, moved to Njombe, another district in that region. We stopped at a few sites along the way to visit other PCVs, but eventually made it down to his place, and after bumbling some cool plans to go to Lake Malawi for the eclipse, we ended up going out to a little village called Kanikelele, WAY out in the bush.

The eclipse actually started while we were on our way out there on one of these buses that leaves whenever it wants and takes anywhere from 2 to 12 hours, depending on the roads and the driver. Brandon and I kept shifting around in our seats, trying to get our makeshift pinhole box into the sun so we could see something (It was actually an index card with a hole in it and another piece of paper I happened to have in my pocket). Fortunately, our stop was right about the time when the eclipse was at its maximum. As I said, it was only 80% (it was totality in Lusaka, Zambia), so we couldn't see stars or anything... however, it did get noticeably dusky out for a while.

By the time we completed the hour and a half hike from where the bus dropped us off, to the volunteer's site in Kanikelele, the celestial event was long over. However, we enjoyed a good meal that evening, over a cold mug of a local bamboo-derived beverage, with a few other volunteers who'd gathered there for the event. Couldn't ask for a nicer vacation experience... total relaxation. To cap it all off, I got a lift all the way back to Dar in the Peace Corps car (normally a 12-hour bus trip, this was a 9-hour comfy car trip which dropped me off right at the hotel!)

After I got back from my two-day trip back home, I started immediately to finalize my plans for the third annual Monduli (U.S.) Independence Day party. Because I've spent time in previous years explaining this party in great detail, I'll spare you all this year. I will say that this year was a little smaller and cozier (only about a dozen people) but still much fun.

One thing that made it all the better this time was the fact that Mom had sent me a care package full of red, white, and blue streamers, flags, and all kinds of crazy USA-style decorations. There were so many, in fact, that even after we had decorated the house from top to bottom, we still had things left over. The extra streamers ended up being used in warfare against each other on the dance floor. The next morning, I walked out and saw the aftermath, and said, "It looks like Uncle Sam threw up on my house!"

Another memorable quote came when Ashley (an environmental volunteer) and I were having an argument about whether or not a car would explode from having its tires punctured by bees. She supported her argument by saying, "EVERYTHING explodes! Haven't you seen TV?"

You may think me sick, but a personal spiritual highlight for me at this party was taking a live chicken and beheading it, plucking it, disemboweling it, cutting it up, cooking it, basting it in BBQ sauce, and finally, eating it. This was significant to me not because I am bloodthirsty, but because I think that if I do choose to eat an animal, I should at least be able to do the dirty deed myself. I've always felt that Americans have too much detachment (in general) from their food and its origins. It's one of the reasons I don't eat meat in the States. Blah blah blah.

After the party, I spent another long, lazy few days just recovering and slowly piecing my house back together. I had another few days after that to start getting ready for the first day of school. As you may remember, "the first day of classes" doesn't usually mean much at my school -- there usually aren't enough students to teach until about two weeks have gone by.

Well, unbeknownst to me, my school had instituted a new policy last term whereby if the students don't show up on the first day of classes, they need to bring a parent with them. Normally, on the first day we have one or two students. This time we had between one and two hundred. By only the 3rd day, I had enough students to teach. It's exciting and I'm pleased, but it did catch me a little off guard.

Fortunately, I'm using the time to do something I've always wanted to do: Teaching the kids who are here a little about study skills. I was worried that they would be angry and want to go on with the syllabus, but so far they have been very receptive and seem to be getting something valuable out of it.

Much more to tell -- look for part (b)!

Keep it goin' on,

Ethan

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