This 2.5 minute song, based on the tune "Senor" by Bob Dylan, contains lyrics which will be offensive to full professors. It is dedicated to my many friends who have been hurt by the current academic system.

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Tenure, Tenure.
Do you know where its hidin?
How many papers am I gonna be writin?
How much external cash must I secure?
Will there be any spark left by

Tenure, Tenure.
They say publish n' perish
Committee work makes it hellish
Teaching well leaves time for nothin more.
Higher education fails due to

Well the last thing I remember
'Fore I stripped and kneeled
Were the full professors in black leather and high heels
The chairman says "I'm sorry, there's no vacant slot.
And, besides, we want to hire somebody young and hot!"

Tenure, Tenure.
True freedom of thought
can't be federally bought.
After six years your co-option is for sure.
Do you think we should abolish it?